🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?